The Best of Beneath Ceaseless Skies Podcast

written by David Steffen

If you’re looking for a new magazine to read, and you’re a fan of some quality worldbuilding, you’ve got to check out Beneath Ceaseless Skies. They have a neat little niche market, focusing on worlds that are “other” in some way, either a past time period (with speculative elements added in) or an alternate world; no contemporary, no futuristic.

BCS releases an issue every two weeks, with 2 brand new stories in text, and one audio story which is a reprint of one of their earlier text stories. For the purposes of this list, I only considered the 55 audio stories they’ve published to date–if you follow the links you can either read the text or listen to the audio. I’d like to catch up on their text stories as well, but I find it much easier to find time for audio. And as usual, I don’t consider stories that I’ve considered for one of my other Best Of lists, which does eliminate a few, including the excellent Alchemist’s Feather by Erin Cashier.

1. Father’s Kill by Christopher Green
A father and his young children live in an isolated house in a wilderness thick with wolves. Father is out hunting, leaving the children home, the wolves held back by a solid door with a series of intricate locks.  Great dark story with a child’s point of view.

2. Architectural Constants by Yoon Ha Lee
Wow. This story really put Yoon Ha Lee on my radar. Awesome worldbuilding of a very strange otherworld. I’m… not sure that I totally understood everything that happened, but it was still wholly enjoyable.

3. Dying on the Elephant Road by Steve Rasnic Tem
It certainly delivers on the title, as the protagonist gets trampled to death by elephants in an effort to save the love of his life, who has no idea he exists. Don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler– that happens in about the first paragraph. Shortly thereafter he’s patched together by a mysterious stranger with even more mysterious motives.

4. Preservation by Jonathan Wood
If you’ve ever lost a loved one have you wished that you could have kept them around forever?

5. Waiting for Number Five by Tom Crosshill
This is a story of Four, the fourth in a series of sentient dancing figurines, each an improvement on the last. But how long does she have before Five replaces her?

6. Mamafield by Corie Ralston
Sentient plants with a smothering mother, and the story of one of the other plant children who had run away.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Pale by Kathryn Allen

Remembering Light by Marie Brennan
This story takes place in the world of Driftwood, the same setting as “A Heretic by Degrees”, also written by Marie Brennan, which made my Best of Podcastle list.

Sun Magic, Earth Magic by David D. Levine

Review: Writers of the Future XXVI

Reviewed by Frank Dutkiewicz

Time for my yearly review, Yippee! Last year I wrote a very long analysis on the winning story and another that I really, and of the authors that wrote them. A few took my comments as needlessly personal. I regret that. I was only attempting to illustrate the first impressions I had of Jordan Lapp and Emery Huang, which were swept aside when I read their stories. I by no means meant that either of them acted or did anything wrong. In fact, I think every author is entitled to a little self-promotion and should take full advantage of their fifteen minutes of fame in hopes of stretching it out into a life-long center stage. So that I won’t be misunderstood this time, I will only make this statement about this years award ceremonies; Laurie Tom’s red dress was hot!

“Living Rooms” by Laurie Tom First place fourth quarter and Gold Award winner

Rill’s expected warm homecoming is cut short when she discovers her father has passed away and a distant uncle has moved into her childhood home in hopes of gaining control. The rooms have rejected him and are heartened by Rill’s return. However, for Rill to maintain control she must believe the house is hers or her uncle will be able to regain a foothold into the enchanted house. Rill has been away for eight years and hasn’t fully considered her father’s house hers, and all the rooms have not accepted her as their new master.

“Living Rooms” is a fresh fantasy concept. The rooms have personalities of their own and can manifest into people. The holographic like beings are anchored to their ‘room’ and can only leave their area when granted permission by their master. Rill’s father was an accomplished magician and she has only remembered a few of the basic spells of her youth. Her evil uncle, Morrin, is after something in the home. Rill must find out what he is after but not all the rooms in the house are cooperative. Morrin is eager to drive Rill away. If she can believe the house is hers his power will be nullified, but believing a house she felt like a prisoner in when she was a child is hers proves to be difficult.

It is easy to fall in love with this premise. Rill comes home expecting to reconnect with her father. The rooms of the house are servants to the owners and have appropriate personalities for their purposes. The story is set as a fantasy mystery. Finding out what Morrin is after is one of the driving forces of the plot. The premise is solid as was Ms Tom’s telling of the story. However, I found the plot a little too straightforward. The outcome was obvious to me early on, even if the details of what happened in between weren’t. The story lacked a sense of urgency I prefer of a thriller/mystery. What I found particularly disappointing was the villain. It may have helped if he was more active in the story. Instead he was the man lurking in the shadows, a distant danger instead of a more imposing one I would have preferred.

Grade B

“The Black Side of Memory” by Lael Salaets third place fourth quarter

Lt Det Kiv has been discharged from the army. Like others, his mind has been wiped of crucial details of the war. A former colleague greets him and convinces him to seek out the empty gaps in their memory. The government will stop at nothing to keep the facts of the war secret but a nagging feeling motivates Kiv to find the truth. But all he has to go on is a picture of a small girl drawn by a soldier in the psych ward at a VA hospital.

The premise to “The Black Side of Memory” hinges on a pair of soldiers eager to right a nagging wrong. Erased memory is something every soldier endures before discharge. Surprisingly, the radical procedure is flawed. Everyone knows (soldiers, public, the enemy) that the Colonial forces perform this routine procedure. Kiv and his companion have left a disk that will revive their lost memory, all they have to do is travel halfway around the world into enemy territory and evade government agents to find one small child on a big continent. Piece of cake.

The story itself showed promise at its start but became increasingly disappointing the further I read. The author’s storytelling I would best describe as wooden. The characters were stiff, the prose simplistic, and the plot unoriginal. It came across like a bad version of a Rambo knock off idea. I couldn’t help but to wonder why the government agents just didn’t shoot the pair to keep them quiet. If not an execution than a simple arrest on trumped up charges usually works well enough for any minor tyrannical government in today’s societies.

Grade C-

“Lisa with Child” by Alex Black second place first quarter

Karin is suffering from post-traumatic stress. She has been turning to alcohol to cope with the haunting visions of the war in her head. She hopes readmission into the Clandestine Services will help her deal with the flashbacks, then Lisa, her AI combat companion, puts everything in jeopardy with news Karin never dreamed would be possible; she’s pregnant with their child.

“Lisa with Child” is excellent Science Fiction. It introduces a possible future problem using mistakes made in the past. Lisa is a cyborg, created to assist her assigned air force officer, Karin, in the war to unify Korea. The Agency made her to be emotionally dependent to her assigned officer and physiologically indistinguishable from other people. Years after the war, she is still with Karin, serving as her bodyguard and servant. Her social development has been shaped by her programming and years of bonding with Karin. Karin feels as if Lisa has ruined her chances with the agency. Lisa however is a product of her creation, everything she does is for Karin’s own good.

Following Lisa’s logic through Karin’s perspective is the crux of this story. Like so many weapons introduce for a war effort (agent orange, rockets, nuclear power) the effects on society aren’t fully revealed until years after. “Lisa with Child” examines what could happen when human-like machines, built to protect and assist the people they are bonded to, are left with their assigned humans while their programs continue to evolve. The author’s ability to lead us along lends to this brilliant piece. Although it was perhaps the shortest story I read in the WotF anthologies in a long time, I found it full of content. The three characters are drawn well, all distinct and all believable. If I could find something to complain about it would be the length of the piece. I would have liked more but in all honesty the authors brevity of telling this tale may be the reason why it worked so well.

Grade A

“Not in the Flesh” by Adam Colston second place third quarter

Technical Officer Aaron Tanaka is assigned to determine if a battle android is flawed. The human faced android has demonstrated characteristics that are too human and discovering it gave itself a name does not bode well for it. Before Aaron’s order for destruction is completed disaster strikes. Aaron’s life is now in Peter the android’s hands, and his future depends on its emerging humanity.

“Not in the Flesh” is a story cut from the cloth of Isaac Asimov’s genius. Peter the android has become aware that he is a slave of humanity while Aaron’s role is much like a taskmaster in the pre-civil war south. Androids are tools, and a tool that is unpredictable is of no use. A sudden change in fortune flips the positions of the two characters. Thanks to Peter’s quick thinking, the two escape disaster but find themselves in predicament that is just as dire. Aaron faces death; an irreversible, no chance of resurrection, death. Lying to the android won’t make any difference and telling him the truth may save him from some needless suffering.

I am admittedly biased when it comes to this story. I am one of Adam’s first readers and have read several incarnations of “Not in the Flesh,” from his first inklings of an idea to his last draft. Reading it in print gave it a unique feel. It also showed me the reason why I believed Adam would hit the big time years ago.

Like other stories of Adam’s I have read, “Not in the Flesh” has a protagonist that is flawed. Mr Colston integrates Aaron’s flaws and makes them central to the plot. It is unlikely the story would have done as well if Aaron’s own prejudices weren’t a part of his characters make up. However, Mr Colston wisely didn’t cast him as an over-the-top futuristic bigot, instead Aaron’s distrust of Peter is deeper inside his psyche. As a result, Aaron is like a nice neighbor who occasionally grumbles about the ‘immigrant problem.’ Peter is the idealist; the altruistic visionary who would rather be considered an equal than a weapon in a desperate war. Lending to this delightful metaphoric tale is Mr Colston’s unique and subtle touches of humor. I particularly enjoyed the ending of the scene in the escape pod.

I think this story is very strong, but as a close associate of Adam I am unsure how clouded my judgment is. However, two other independent reviews have singled out his story as a standout. I would like to give him a high mark but because of our relationship and Adam’s tendency to suck upâ€

Grade withheld for being the teacher’s pet.

“Seeing Double” by Tom Crosshill first place first quarter

John and Sasha share lives. The New York soldier and Riga native were part of a cultural exchange long ago. Each person experiences the others actions while they sleep, in effect , live two lives. Sasha has become ill and John has come to Riga to seek him out. A burrowing unit has infected Sasha, threatening to sever the link between the two. Dima, Sasha’s brother, wishes John to be out of their lives, and isn’t above murder to do it.

“Seeing Double” is a dual perspective done through a single character. Jack-streaming is a way for two people to connect, share a mind. Sasha and John are opposites, relying on the others strength to compensate for their own weakness. Dima believes Sasha’s link with John has made him into something he isn’t. John travels to Riga for the first time yet is familiar with the place seeing it though Sasha’s eyes. Violence of a shared past catches up to the duo, and it is up to John to save them both.

“Seeing Double” is a fitting title because I had a hard time staying focused while reading it. Switching perspectives, sudden flashbacks, a conversation with a dead person inside a coffin†all made it difficult to follow. Just when I thought I got a grip of what was going on the scene would switch into something closer to a hallucination. I found the characters unlikable and the protagonist exceedingly violent. Although I had to read it twice to understand what I read, I did find the premise promising and understand why it would be so difficult to write.

Grade C

“Exanastasis” by Brad R. Torgersen third place third quarter

Arteus was the last person in the solar system left alive at his death. Ten centuries later, his ‘children’ have revived him and his long dead wife. An escaping ship of the war is returning to reclaim the Earth. The children have held true to Arteus’s plan of purging the Earth of humanity so it can recover before reintroducing cloned men to its surface. The strange ship is coming to reclaim the prize for itself, and demands the children and the moonbase to surrender.

“Exanastasis” is a story about a conflicted man. Arteus died devastated; the Earth destroyed in a war and vaporizing wife in the process. Hypatia is eager to see her husband, too eager for Arteus. He knows his wife isn’t the same person he knew and thinks of her as nothing but a copy, a product of his memory rather than the woman he fell in love with. The children are motivated by the plan, a plan Arteus no longer believes in or in the caretakers he created to implement it.

I found the first quarter of this story difficult to comprehend. It took me to the end to get a firm idea of what the children were. At first I thought they were corporeal creatures, floating aberrations like the ‘Dementors’ of the Harry Potter series. Too much of the story had to do with Arteus coming to grips with his resurrection and reuniting with his wife when a larger and more interesting story of the children caretakers, and a long ago foe returning, was there ignored. If I was reading this book for pleasure alone I may have dumped out of this story early, but it picked up and captured my interest enough for me to care about its ending.

Grade B-

“Poison Inside the Walls” by Scott W. Baker second place fourth quarter

Ashia is an experienced soldier, a caring mother, and proud woman. All she has become was built on a foundation of lies. While on patrol, she extracts the boils of a fungus, ingredients to an addictive drug, for her breeding-age son. Her youngest son is beautiful, the pride of the nursery, and Hector (the father) wants the credit of producing such a rare and healthy boy. Ashia wants no part of Hector and is willing to build on her foundation of lies to deny him the honor.

“Poison Inside the Walls,” like the lies Ashia lives, is a multi-layered tale. She is embarrassed and guilty for her eldest son. Ashamed and resentful of Hector. Distrusted and irritated of her superior officer. Then there is the Kree. The colony of Tora lost 90% of the men in an earlier invasion. Now the males are treated like studding stallions and the women are left to defend their world. Status means everything to the men and women of Tora and even more to Ashia. Her addicted son, Krusta, could care less about status and uses Ashia’s guilt to manipulate her. The result is a cast full of intriguing yet unlikable characters.

I have mixed feelings about this story. I found it ridiculous the circumstances Ashia put herself into. Risking your career for your son’s addiction is stupid. Denying a father’s paternity because he’s a jerk is foolishly vindictive, especially when the child’s welfare is at stake. Balancing against a frustrating premise is the writer’s raw talent. The story was quick paced and engaging. Ashia’s complicated life and evolving state of affairs was easy for me to accept because of the author’s ability to frame such an intricate plot. What I really loved was his description of the Kree. I wished the artist chose to draw one of them for this tale. The biggest sore spot for me was the ending, which I won’t explain so I won’t ruin it for those who haven’t read it.

Don’t be surprised if you are turned off by this premise. However, it speaks volumes of Mr Baker’s skill that he pulled it off. For that reason alone he deserves praise.

Grade A-

“Confliction” by Simon Cooper second place second quarter

Flynn Mason’s heart is about to fail. His black-marketed nanodocs in his blood are malfunctioning. Only an unlikely heart transplant can save him. Then the unlikely happens. The gift that saved his life has an unexpected price, a price too high for even a dying man to want to pay.

“Confliction”‘s premise relies on a futuristic technology called nanodocs, small machines that repair the body from within. The heart Flynn receives is from a scientist named Bernardo who was experimenting with the nanodocs. The nanodocs in Bernado’s heart has the capability of rewriting Flynn’s brain, supplanting his conscience with Bernado’s mind. Maxi, Bernardo’s lover, wishes to correct her mistake of donating his heart but the authorities are set to stop her. Flynn must decide who he must trust while fighting to retain his mind.

“Confliction” has three stages, all distinctively different but loosely tied together. The first couple of pages is of Flynn contemplating a failing heart, then there is a sequence of Maxi and government agents fighting over Flynn, and a third act with Flynn facing Brenado in the battleground of a shared mind. The failing heart opening had a nice hook but was a slow reel in. The second act I found slower and the characters cartoon-ish. I really wanted Flynn to just shoot them all at one point. The surreal third act came off like a fantasy battle with Bernado as a wizard who informs the hero that he must destroy him, but has no hard feelings about it. The story had flashes of brilliance but the mish-mashed stages had a way of turning me away. The result for me was mixed feelings for the entire piece.

Grade B-

“Digital Rights” by Brent Knowles first place third quarter

Izzy Mosh is the newest member of a solar collecting space station. Her job is the rein in the Assistants, AI cyber-space workers, who keep the station running and in one piece. The job is supposed to be temporary, and puts a strain on her marriage with her politically ambitious husband, but it grants her the chance to work with the leading AI psychologist in the system, Dr Rutgers. A ‘ghost’ has been spooking the Assistants, and someone has been leaving Izzy strange messages in her inbox. The odd doctor is surprised when he hears of them, but all fingers point back to his way. Izzy isn’t sure who is sending those verbal messages in her inbox but one thing is clear; the voice in those pleas for help is hers.

“Digital Rights” is a mystery whose mystery is lost 5 pages in. It becomes very obvious to the reader what is going on, and the crew isn’t all that clueless who is responsible as well. Dr Rutgers is a creep. The type of loner you’d imagine that hides behind a computer all day while surfing for depravity to titillate himself. Advancing technology in virtual reality grants the creep to advance into monster status. He disturbs the crew of women but Izzy wants to make excuses for him because of his accomplishments.

If I were to describe “Digital Rights” in one word it would be “long”. A mixture of exhausting inner monologues and overdone background bogged down a well-thought out premise. Much was made of Izzy’s marriage. We are shown a supporting and proud husband in one scene and a selfish, unsympathetic jerk the next. The story could have axed the governor-to-be spouse and not have missed a thing. Stuck in the middle of an equivalent of literary weeds is a lush story. There is a great premise that is choked by the author’s tendency to write down to his reader. I believe cultivated and trimmed, and rearranging the information to support a real mystery, this story could have been the standout piece of the anthology. Such as it isâ€

Grade B

“Coward’s Steel” by K C Ball , third place first quarter

Tate is a lonely girl. Her mentor and savior, Jolene, died weeks ago. Jolene taught Tate how to survive the Collapse by being suspicious of everyone. Tate sees something familiar in an old woman tending a fire. The chance meeting sets in motion a series of events that will influence her life, a struggling village, and a future’s past.

“Coward’s Steel” is a fantasy set in a dystopia. Tate lived most of her life following Jolene’s law. Her dead companion had so much influence on her Tate can still hear Jolene’s skeptical voice in her head. The voice drives a wedge between Tate and a caring community who have welcomed her with open arms. Tate carries a magical flask the old woman by the fire gave her, a flask that never empties of its whiskey.

The author wove a subtle puzzle within this finely crafted tale. The mystery of the old woman fades then returns later into the story. Tate is successfully cast as a loner who is destined to live in misery, even when opportunities for a comfortable and content life are presented to her. The villagers of Providence have done as well as a community weathering a global collapse can do. Outsiders are trouble and are dealt with harshly but those asking for help are never turned away. Tate finds friendship and love in the village but Jolene’s voice from the past warns Tate to not get used to it. The story is well done but a downer. I liked it but it left me bummed out in the end.

Grade B+

“Written in Light” by Jeff Young , third place third quarter

Zoi’ahmets is a wickurn gathering evidence to support her species in the Diversifrom Dispute. The tree-like alien is shocked and suspicious when a human stumbles into her. Kiona is a young girl who has crashed a rover transport in the jungle while on a photography expedition. Complications on what Zoi’ahmets should do about the human adolescent arise when Kiona develops a severe allergic reaction. Zoi’ahmets overrides her own suspicions to carry Kiona to safety, but the trek is long and Zoi’ahmets inability to call for help makes her wonder if seemingly unrelated events are connected to the Dispute.

“Written in Light” is a brave endeavor. The story is told from the viewpoint of a very alien species. Kiona is a mystery to Zoi’ahmets. First as she contemplates the biology and social order of humanity through a lost but proud pre-teen, then from Kiona growing serious condition of her injuries and unknown allergic reaction. Further complicating things for the wickurn is the fact that Kiona parents are part of an arbitrating body deciding the dispute.

Writing from the perspective of an alien species is always difficult. The author couldn’t have made it more so with such a novel idea like the wickurn. Mr Young developed not only one freakishly alien species but two, a butterfly like hive mentality called the chenditi. The author created a galaxy with an unusual concept of inter-species cooperation through a settlement program meant to include galactic community at large. In this tale a background model of radically different races existing side-by-side for the common good is presented. Zoi’ahmets uncovers a conspiracy to undermine this grand goal, and the wickurns sense of justice becomes the focus of the tale.

The story is a work of wonder. Mr Young’s ability to bring such an alien species to life makes him very deserving a spot in this anthology.

Grade A-

“The House of Nameless” by Jason Fischer , first place third quarter

Raoul the Minotaur lives a full life within a new reality and away from One-Way-World. Then a mysterious and blurry man bypasses all of Raoul’s safeguards and invades his home to inform him his world will be undone. The other gods have no idea who this powerful foe may be. Only Nameless has the answers in his head, answers that may undo everything.

Jason Fischer managed what I considered impossible; crack the contest with a work of humor. Much of “The House of Nameless” is a tongue-in-cheek work of fantasy. The myth heavy tale follows the formidable Raoul as he seeks answers on how anyone, or anything, could penetrate his fortress home. He first tries Nameless’ house then sets foot on the deck of a ship of debauchery, where he rescues a loved one he abandoned. Events lead to a show down, and answers of the blurry ones identity.

“The House of Nameless” is sharply written. I found the tale quick and the protagonist likeable but the plot was much like the antagonist, blurry. Following along on Raoul’s adventure was like making sense of a dream after eating a spicy meal of Mexican food. Too many weird things were going on. The comedy went way over on the ridiculous for it to be funny for me. Nice effort though.

Grade B

A Lopsided Trend And How It Influenced The Winner

A friend asked me a while ago what was his best chance at winning the contest. My answer — “Robots”. I should have followed my own advice.

I doubt you could find a previous volume that didn’t have at least two stories with an AI or bionic theme. WotF just likes them. True, there are many variations possible for the robot sub-genre, and you’ll usually find a nice mixture of fantasy and other sci-fi themes in every volume. However, this years anthology favored the sub-genre so much they could have called it I, Robot.

Five stories were based on artificial intelligence. Another three took the six-million dollar man route, focusing on cybernetic implants in their characters. That meant two-thirds of the winners were in the sub-genre and its sister theme, and I didn’t even include Jason Fischer’s piece, which had a robot but only as comic relief. WotF has traditionally shunned other time-honored sub-genres. Like dragons? Can’t remember the last time I read one in a WotF contest. Fantasy epic? Tolkein would have never stood a chance. Same if like to write about ghosts, zombies, and any other creature Abbot and Costello may have run into. In fact, fantasy took a back seat this time around. Only three winners, one-fourth of the contest slots, were fantasy. Not good if you entered four fantasy entries last year. So why did so many stories based on a small corner of the Sci-Fi genre win? Do the judges favor robots? Or were these stories just simply the best entries written by the best authors? I believe the later tailored to the former.

According to the authors’ bios, this years class was loaded with veteran writers. 11 of the 12 winning authors (congrats to K C Ball for striking pay dirt on her first try) have shown a history of submitting to the contest and to other publications as well. This year’s authors have an impressive pile of honorable mentions and 3 failed finalist entries among them. Good writers who work their way up the ranks pay attention to what motivates an editor. Most magazines ask you to read an issue. Good writers will read more than one. I am betting it was no coincidence the writers who have been nipping at the contests heels for so long decided robots were the way to go. Good for them, not so much for the contest.

It is rumored fantasy submissions dominate the contest. Although I favor sci-fi over fantasy, I believe most of the readers don’t. Hopefully this year’s trend was just a coincidence. I would hate it if readers are turned away because the content just doesn’t fit their taste anymore. Equally as tragic would be if fantasy exclusive writers stop submitting because of the contests weighted preferences. We shall see what happens in the future.

So what made this year’s winner so special? I think I know.

I found “Living Rooms” to be a solid story. The protagonist was likeable and the plot compelling, but so were a majority of the other entries. Although I found it solid the writing fell short of sharp. At 52 pages it was the longest of the anthology. I just can’t see why the plot justified such a length. Compared with the works and styles of the judges (at least the ones I have read), I don’t believe they would have needed so many pages to tell the same story. Ms Tom took extra pains at providing exposition. Her protagonist inner monologues and an overemphasis on back-story appeared as if she worried the reader would miss important details. The result was a slower pace. Not a crawl, but more of a leisurely stroll. The extra exposition also robbed the piece of much of its mystery, a pity because it had the making of a great one.

It could be Ms Toms took notice of the contests’ desire to make the anthology student friendly, not so racy so it couldn’t be placed in a high school library. “Living Rooms” I believe had a very young adult feel to it. In fact, I think the piece would fit well in any middle school classroom. So is its encompassing friendly appeal to a wide audience the reason it won? Not a chance. The answer why it did is clear if you consider the judges preference for robots this year. Originality.

Most of the characters in “Living Rooms” are Artificial Intelligence creations. The rooms, as personified spells, act like robots. They have rules to their behavior and are limited by their creators programming. Some seek to be more, like James of the parlor, while others cannot overcome their instructions, like Martin of the master bedroom, even when following those instructions runs counterintuitive to their own good. Although the story lacks any science whatsoever, the rooms in Ms Toms piece are as robotic as anything Isaac Asimov created. In a sense, she plucked robots out of science fiction and planted them firmly in fantasy. Likely she was just lucky to submit the right story at the right time but it doesn’t make “Living Rooms” any less innovative or brilliant. Even though I graded past winners higher, and a good deal of the stories in this volume as well, her story may be the most deserving of the gold award in a decade.

Congratulations, Laurie. You earned it.

Frank went to his first writers convention recently where he meant a half-dozen authors, whose works he reviewed, in a dark alley at back. Frank was very encouraged to learn how passionate they were about their craft and was pleased to discover theyÂtook his reviews so seriously. The next convention he attends he plans on bringing his own friends to add to anyÂfuture discussions.

Title Crafting

written by David Steffen

One of the aspects of the craft writing that never seems to get much discussion is the choice of title. Now, certainly there are lots of other things you need to work on, endings, the beginning hook, characterization, so on. And those other things are more likely to affect your chances at making a sale. But titles do matter. At the very least they can be the icing on the cake. At the most they can make the story itself more memorable and thus easier to recommend and discuss (always an important thing). Their value is less obvious and harder to measure.

So, here’s a list of factors when choosing a great title. I’ll give at least one good and bad examples for each. Keep in mind that I’m only commenting on the choice of title, not the story itself. And I’m certainly not proud of every title I’ve created for my own stories. Note, I do also include some movies and video games in these entries, because titles are equally important in those media.

Factors for a Great Title

1. Is it compelling?

When you hear the best titles, they just make you WANT to read the story, even without knowing anything else about them. A story needs to draw you in, but even before you read the opening paragraph, you’re going to see the title in the table of contents of the magazine, or on the spine of the book at a bookstore.

Good:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, written by Douglas Adams
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, directed by Michael Gondry
Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There, written by Lewis Carroll

Bad:
Prey, written by Michael Crichton
This is a stock title that doesn’t really tell you anything interesting about the story, a tale of self-modifying nanobot swarms escaped from laboratories. It doesn’t help that a video game came out within a couple years of this with the same title but having no relation whatsoever to the Crichton book, about a Native American alien abductee trying to fight his way off the spacecraft.
The Bride of Frankenstein, written by Mike Resnick
There have been so many Frankenstein’s monster media tie-ins over the years that mentioning “Frankenstein” in the title actually lowers my interest a bit, unless something about it would imply that the setting or details were wildly different than the original. Which this title doesn’t.
The Old Man and the Sea, written by Ernest Hemingway
The title is certainly accurate, but it really does not make me want to read the story.

2. Is it memorable?

When a story really becomes popular, much of the reason for its popularity are word-of-mouth recommendations. To really allow word-of-mouth to do have its full effect, the title needs to be memorable. If you think of the storyline then the title should spring to mind.

Good:Â The Merchant and the Alchemist’s Gate, written by Ted Chiang
The Tell-Tale Heart, written by by Edgar Allen Poe

Bad:Â The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Diplomat, written by Matthew Sanborn Smith
This is a great, hilarious story. But I have a bugger of a time remembering the title because the story doesn’t call this title to mind at all.

3. Is it evocative?

The memory association between title and story is a two way street. If you hear the title, the story should spring to mind. It helps to avoid cliched phrases, because they already have existing associations. But new variations of cliched phrases can make very evocative titles. Again, this can be very important to promote discussion. If someone asks you if you’ve read Book X, if the title evokes nothing for you there’s less chance of a real discussion happening.

Good:
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, written by C.S. Lewis
Deus Ex (PC Game), produced by Eidos
This is an example of a common phrase being expressed in a new way. This is part of the phrase “deus ex machina”, literally “god from a machine”, usually used to refer to a last-minute savior that solves an apparently unsolvable problem. The protagonist of this game is a deus ex machina in this sense, but he is also nano-augmented, essentially gaining godlike powers through technology, making him a sort of god from a machine. Truncating the original phrase makes it more distinct, and more brief, packing a lot of meaning into just six letters.

Bad:Â The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater, written by Robert T. Jeschonek
The word “bear” is certainly relevant to the story, but the sweater has no real importance. So when I hear this title it leads my associative memory down roads that don’t relate to this story.
Dragons of Autumn Twilight, written by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
This title is just lazy. It tells you that there are dragons in the book, but it’s part of a series called Dragonlance so that is hardly a surprise.

4. Does it match the tone of the story?

Generally, it’s a good idea to have the tone of the title match the tone of the story. A humorous title hints at a humorous story; a dark title hints at a dark story, etc…
There are definitely exceptions to this one. For instance, S. Boyd Taylor’s “Teddy Bears and Tea Parties.” The title is light and childish, but that’s a very dark one. But in that story the mismatch is clearly an intentionally contrasting choice and does well as a title.

Good:Â Just a Couple of Highly Experimental Weapons Tucked Away Behind the Toilet Paper, written by Adam Troy Castro
Extremely long titles tend to give a humorous slant. Funny story, funny title here.
What They Consumed, written by Helmut Finch
Dark story, dark title.

Bad:Â Cloverfield, directed by Matt Reeves

5. Does it keep its promise?

A title shouldn’t write a check that its story can’t cash.

Good:Â Biographical Notes to ‘A Discourse on the Nature of Causality, with Air-Planes’, by Benjamin Rosenbaum, written by Benjamin Rosenbaum
Philosophy on a blimp with a character sharing the name of the author in a parallel universe. It matches the title quite well.
Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag, directed by Tom Schulman
I haven’t actually seen this movie, but according to synopses there is actually a duffelbag full of heads. With a title like that, you’ve gotta follow through.
Snakes on a Plane, directed by David R. Ellis
This one’s a late entry to the list, suggested by Marshal. But it was such a good example I couldn’t pass it up.

Bad:Â Evil Robot Monkey, written by Mary Robinette Kowal
For obvious reasons I began reading this story anticipating an evil robot monkey. The story contained no evil, no robot, and no monkey. It’s not that the story was bad, but with that title, anything that didn’t actually fulfill the title is bound to disappoint.
Let Us All Praise Awesome Dinosaurs, written by Leonard Richardson
This story did not make me want to praise dinosaurs, nor did anyone in the story praise any dinosaurs. There were at least dinosaurs in it, though, so it gets partial credit.

6. Is it related to the story’s kernel?

Ideally, a title will relate to the core idea, the kernel, the theme of the story.

Good:Â Friction, written by Will McIntosh
Friction is the number one concern of the protagonist, and is the motivation behind most of his life’s decisions, as well as being a major factor in the climax and the resolution.
The Matrix, directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski

Bad:Â The Gathering Storm, written by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson
This does relate to the events of the book as the series approaches its resolution, presumably centered around the Last Battle. The storm does relate to that but is by no means the kernel of this particular book.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, written by Stieg Larson
The girl does indeed have a dragon tattoo. It’s an interesting detail that certainly helps contribute to characterization and gives her an unmistakable feature. But it has pretty much nothing to do with the story’s kernel.

7. Is the meaning of the title clear?

Good:Â Cursed, written by Jeremy C. Shipp
We know from right at the beginning that the protagonist is cursed, and his biggest desire is to remove that curse.
City of Golden Shadow, written by Tad Williams
Again, the primary motivating factor is right in the title.
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, written by Terry Pratchett

Bad:Â Knife of Dreams, written by Robert Jordan
Based on a quote also written by the author. The trouble is that I never remember the meaning of the quote and it doesn’t seem to have much to do with anything. Not only that, but some of the other titles refer to specific objects, such as “Crown of Swords”, and this sounds like another one of those. Add to that the fact that the World of Dreams is a major setting in the series, and it seems pretty clear that this is a magical object. So I kept waiting for that darned knife to show up.
More Full of Weeping Than You Can Understand, written by Rosamund Hudge
I looked this up after listening to the story, it’s pulled from a Yeats poem about Fae changelings. Knowing that, it certainly relates, but that only helps if you know the Yeats quote. That’s the trouble making titles based on quotes, they’re generally only meaningful if you know the quote. I kept waiting for it to make sense while I was reading, and then it never did.
Perilous Seas by Dave Duncan
Much of his Man of His Word series takes place crossing from country to country by ocean. The seas are perilous from time to time, but no more so in this book than the others. All four titles of this series were taken from a passage from The Rubayyat of Omar Khayyam, and seemingly plucked phrases at random from it, though none of them were particularly good titles, with two of them seeming to be entirely unrelated to their book.

What goes around

As I said before a bad title doesn’t mean it’s a bad story and probably doesn’t have much to do with editorial selection. Lest anyone complain about me picking on other writers’ titles, I’ll pick on my own a bit as well.

To date I’ve seen four of my stories published, so I’ll comment on them here for each of the categories I’ve listed. I would comment on others, but I enter some contests like Writers of the Future where anonymity of stories is mandatory, so I don’t want to risk losing eligibility on those stories. I’ll give each of them a score from 1-10, 10 being the highest, 1 being lowest, 5 being average.

The Disconnected

An SF story set in a future where phone dependence has grown to such a degree that everyone is attached to phone symbiotes after being born. This story centers around those who have been disconnected from their phones (once disconnected you cannot be reconnected).

1. Compelling? 6
2. Memorable? 6
Funny story: I set up a Google Alert search for this story, and for months I kept getting hits that said “Jesus Loves the Disconnected”. Good to know that he’s a fan.
3. Evocative? 3
“Disconnected” is simply too common a word to be extremely evocative.
4. Tone? 4
Story is darker than the title.
5. Keeps promise? N/A
It doesn’t really promise anything with the title
6. Story kernel? 10
7. Clear meaning? 10

The Utility of Love

A horror retelling of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It begins with Dorothy’s house landing in Munchkinland, but the Tin Man here is very different than the original book’s version, truly compassionless.

1. Compelling? 10
2. Memorable? 10
3. Evocative? 10
4. Tone? 7
The cold, calculating of “utility” matches well the Tin Man’s cold manner of thinking. But Dorothy would likely not agree that the tone is right.
5. Keeps its promise? N/A
Doesn’t really promise anything with the title.
6. Story Kernel? 10
7. Clear meaning? 10

What Makes You Tick

A flash story about an alien autopsy from the point of view of the alien.

1. Compelling? 2
It’s too cliched a phrase to be terribly compelling.
2. Memorable? 5
I think the meaning is clear, so hopefully the title is at least somewhat memorable.
3. Evocative? 1
Again, cliched phrases do not work well for this aspect. There are too many associations for the phrase already.
4. Tone? 10
5. Keeps its promise? N/A
Doesn’t really promise anything with the title.
6. Story Kernel? 7
It’s definitely centered around the story kernel but I’m not sure how clear that association is.
7. Clear meaning? 8

Turning Back the Clock

A man comes home to find his wife killed by robbers. He has an hour to cross the Time Zone boundary and literally turn back time to prevent her death.

1. Compelling? 1
Way too cliched to be compelling.
2. Memorable? 9
3. Evocative? 1
Again, way too cliched.
4. Tone? 2
The tone doesn’t do much to convey the sense of urgency.
5. Keeps its promise? 7
6. Story Kernel? 10
The title is the protagonist’s driving motivation.
7. Clear meaning? 10

Review: Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse

Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse edited by Michael Hanson

review written by Frank Dutkiewicz

(The following review first appeared 2008 in Atomjack magazine.)

I love reading anthologies and I tend to gravitate to them, but finding one that will pique my interest enough to take a chance on it can be chancy. So when one of my favorite authors, Mike Resnick, wrote the forward to Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse, it was enough for me to want to dive in.

Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse is the brainchild of Michael Hanson. He enlisted the help of ten other authors to bring his idea to life. The Sha’Daa is a forty-eight hour window in which the barriers between our world and the Hell dimensions become thin. The event happens once in ten thousand years. Old myths and superstitious have made a few wary of the hidden portal openings spread over our world. One mysterious man, Johnny the Salesman, is the only one aware of the oncoming doom. Eleven authors have written stories on a few of the collapsing portals and of the lone man selling salvation to an unsuspecting human race.

“The Dive” by Edward McKeown

Kevin Hanlon is the District Supervisor in charge of a group of misfit subway workers. He is sent into the New York subway to investigate a strange opening in one of the tunnels where he discovers the demons that are about to invade our world. All the demons need is a bit of human blood and a few souls for the gates of Hcell to be opened. Hanlon must convince his rainbow-coalition band of misfits to help him save the day.

If Hollywood is searching for their next action-packed cheesy-horror film, they need to look no further than The Dive. Like a cheesy film, it opens with Hanlon introducing his nine misfit workers, each equipped with their own colorful nickname. It doesn’t take long for Hanlon’s skeptical team to realize his tale of marauding demons isn’t crazy. They are the only ones standing in the way of an army of alligator and aped-faced monsters and an unsuspecting New York City. What happens next would fit any Predator/Alien sequel — pitched battles, rescuing of a damsel in distress, with a clichà ©d line or two thrown in for comedic effect†(“Can’t we all just get along?”)

If you are familiar with this standard storyline you can probably figure out what will happen. The only mystery is guessing who will bite the bullet before it ends. The Salesman’s character was done well but he reminded me of Kazoo (alien from the Flintstones), just not as corny or silly.

Despite my complaints, “The Dive” is an entertaining read. For an opening story to an anthology like this, it does fit. The action is nicely written and the pacing is quick.

“Tunguska Outpact“ by Deborah Koren

Kate is a young woman dragged into the Siberian wilderness by her boyfriend. Saul is heading a University expedition to investigate the 1908 Tunguska event. Kate becomes furious with Saul when he completes a trade she refused earlier with the Salesman – a watch for her stuffed-bear. Kate’s bubbling anger for her boyfriend, and for the world at large, is just what is needed to bring about the Sha’Daa.

“Tunguska Outpact” is a hell of a story. Ms. Koren took a simple tale of a girl with issues and made it into something more. There are only few a characters in this piece but the story is really about Kate anyway. The supporting casts serve as excellent foils for her character. Solidly done from her point of view, you get a vivid idea on what she thinks of others with a few well-placed words, a rare gift Ms. Koren uses efficiently. The crux of the story is the conflict with her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, Saul. She defines their relationship with little quips, such as this take on Saul’s presents, describing them as,(not) gifts at all, but little collar-and-leash sets”.

Within the story are short flashbacks dating back to when she first received her bear. Generally, a bad idea but Ms. Koren uses them appropriately and exploits them to move the story along. You get a solid idea on why Kate became the resentful girl that she has become.

The climactic scene almost comes off as anti-climactic. It looked as if it would turn into something outlandish but Ms. Koren wisely reeled it in before it got out of hand. The ending fell a little flat but the end couldn’t have possibly made this story grander anyway.

“Tunguska Outpact” is probably not going to win any awards but the storyteller I am suspecting will someday. I found Deborah Koren’s style and story-telling ability outstanding. I will be looking forward to more of her works in the future.

“Lava Lovers” by Wilson “Pete” Marsh

Doctors Toby and Sarah Nightwalkers are geologists enjoying a working vacation in the Mediterranean. They hire an old salt of a sailor named Agenor to take them to the Santorini Caldera, site of a series of volcanic eruptions dating back to 1600 BC. The two young doctors have a shared passion for old myths and legends, which is the reason why they sought Agenor services.

Against Agenor’s better judgment, the couple camp out on Akroteri, site of the ancient city that was buried in the 1600 BC eruption. On the slab of rock they camp on, the pair discover handprints – left hand human, right a three-fingered claw , that is identical to one they saw in the Petroglyphs of New Mexico. The prints remind Toby of an old myth his grandfather used to tell. Under his bride’s prodding, he recites the words to bring forth the Sha’Daa.

“Lava Lovers” starts out as nothing more than a married couple having a semi-interesting conversation. When Agenor comes on the scene (a couple of pages in) the story begins to get entertaining. At one point, a good page is set aside for a geological lecture. Interesting if you’re watching the Discovery Channel. Not so much if you’re reading an anthology about the coming apocalypse.

Half way through the piece switches into high gear. The action is solid and the tension first-class. Mr. Marsh does an excellent job of bringing his characters to life. They are likeable and funny. The humor is slight but his timing is perfect. The Salesman makes a brief appearance and Marsh seems to have an excellent grasp of his character. For such a short role he has a major impact in the plot.

“Lava Lovers” is a bit slow off the starting line but recovers and finishes strong. I liked this story a lot.

“The Way of the Warrior” by Arthur Sanchez

Shinzo is a monk in the Temple of Eternal Light, and like the rest of the monks, seeks to become a warrior. As a monk, most of his battles are against grime and his weapon is a mop. In his spare time, Shinzo is the warrior he seeks to be in the world of video games.

The monks are the first defense against the demons that seek to destroy Earth. They train for the day of the challenge. Two grand champions, one demon, the other a member of the monastery, will battle for the fate of Earth on the chosen day. The time is unknown, but it is decided when all the blossoms on the cherry trees in the monastery’s garden have fallen.

On this day, the rest of the monks are away leaving only the Grand Master to watch the cherry trees and Shinzo to polish the floors. The Salesman appears with a mop and cleaner that magically cleans the floor for Shinzo, for a price to good to pass up. The cleaner works wonders, a little too well when an unsuspecting Master slips on the slippery floor, leaving Shinzo alone — just as the blossoms begin to fall.

“The Way of the Warrior” is a jewel of a story. It is quite simply, hilarious. The demon champion left me in stitches. This Salesman is the craftiest in the anthology. Shinzo is the least likely champion fate could provide. Shinzo uses his wits, and love of the video game, to combat an impossibly formidable opponent.

As someone that attempts to make others laugh, my hat goes off to Mr. Sanchez. Bravo.

“Breaking Even” by Jamie Schmidt

Kenneth is a gambler with a psychic gift that gives him an edge. Banned from most of the casinos in the universe, he returns to Las Vegas to see if he can weasel his way back into some action. The glitzy Nevada city is filled with demons who are quite aware of Kenneth’s gift. He is escorted to the airport where he runs into the Salesman. Johnny offers Kenneth a stake in the biggest game in the universe.

Imagine Maverick with aliens and demons. Throw in a daughter Kenneth never knew he had and you got the basic story line of “Breaking Even”. The story has plenty of one-liners, almost all of them corny. “I love Mexican”, is one a demon drops after devouring a Chihuahua.

I found Kenneth unlikable, the villain predictable, and the cast of characters unremarkable. I think the story would have been better served without the sitcom-level humor. I did find the ending delightfully poetic. Nevertheless, Breaking Even came off as unexceptional.

“Dixie Chrononauts” by D. R. MacMaster

Harvey Cormac is a US Marine, home from Iraq. He chooses to spend his off time in a Confederate Civil War re-enactment company headed to Gettysburg. While traveling on a back-road/shortcut in a bus with the company, which is followed by a professor eager to stop madman from starting the Sha’Daa, and a Homeland Security agent transporting a van load of weapons (alone) for the Maryland State Police, they are transported back in time days before the 1863 battle. Harvey Wraith, (the villain) has gone back into time as well. The deaths of the battlefield and a suspicious virgin pregnancy are the two pieces needed to bring about the Sha’Daa. Harvey and his fellow stranded time travelers are the only ones that can stop him.

“Dixie Chrononauts” started off fast and showed promise but slowed to a crawl a page or two in and dragged from that point on. The first ten pages or so are used to introduce the seven main characters and set up the unlikely scenario that places them all together on a lonely dirt road. The next ten after that are for the characters to get their bearings and figure out what the reader all ready knows. The remainder of the story becomes a desperate battle between conveniently well-armed heroes and giant snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawlers.

“Dixie Chrononauts” reads like a knock-off idea based on so many 1950 horror movies I watched as a kid. The heroes come off as stereotypical and the villain is just plain silly. All Harvey Wraith needed was a curled handlebar mustache to complete the picture. The story is littered with characters and the shifting perspectives made it difficult to follow.

The last line in “Dixie Chrononauts” sums up the piece perfectly for me.

“It’s a long story,”

“The Great Nyuk-Nyuk” by Adrienne Ray

Brian Mulcahey is a smart-alec sixth-grade student of St. Bernadette’s Middle School. His tormenting of Sister Farzenweiner and the rest of the staff has earned him the attention of the Vatican. They are convinced he is the savior that will make the King of Atrocities laugh, thus saving the world.

The premise to this one is silly. Fortunately, it’s supposed to be. The story is more about a Jesuit priest having doubts about his faith than about a jokester being put on the biggest spot ever. I found Brian likeable but unremarkable. Truthfully, I knew cleverer smart-alecs growing up.

“The Great Nyuk-Nyuk” is funny but is not in the league of the earlier comedic piece, “The Way of the Warrior.“ I didn’t find it as clever or as smooth. It was nevertheless a fun story.

“Talking Heads” by Nancy Jackson

Professor ‘Ronny’ Johns hand picks a group of students to help her investigate a rash of strange occurrences on Easter Island. Ronny worries that her grandfather’s old stories of the coming Sha’Daa are true. With the help of a gifted blind student, she hopes to uncover the mystery of the Monoliths.

“Talking Heads” follows an all too familiar blueprint. Set a group of people at the right place in the last possible moment to foil a carefully laid 10,000 year-old evil plan. Professor Ronny drags what she hopes will be the saviors of the world with her, but withholds crucial information on why they’re there so they won’t panic. Her students fit the clichà ©d plot perfectly. There are two hunky boys competing for the same girl and a blind girl (why are they always blind?) gifted with a psychic-like vision. Add a student that doesn’t believe anything, another who believes all is lost, and one more that wants to cut and run, and you have your world saving bunch.

I did like the impending doom implications — plants swallowing islanders and turning them into zombies while the gods wreck havoc one island at a time, does sound cool. The Salesman in this tale plays a prominent role but I found him to be stiff compared to how he was protrayed in other stories. To loosen things up, Ms. Jackson does try her hand at a funny line or two.

“â€I handpicked each of you because you were smart and talented. Martin, I think I invited you for comic relief.”

Despite my complaints, “Talking Heads” isn’t a bad story. The plot is sound but slow developing. Not close to my favorite but still worthy of the anthology.

“The Seventh Continent” by Lee Ann Kuruganti

The scientist, researchers, and workers living at McMurdo Base in Antarctica are celebrating their mid-winter greetings celebration when a nearby volcano erupts, releasing green-bubble monsters sent by the Sha’Daa dark lords. The bubbles are deadly and can’t be stopped. Or can they?

The first eight pages of “The Seventh Continent” is nothing but inane conversations between twenty-something Real-World (show, not life) wannabes. I began to wonder if all the western governments decided to populate Antarctica with nothing but skateboarders and rappers (plan does have merit). Once you got through the chatter, the story got better. But just like the Real-World the characters come off as selfish. I couldn’t find one thing to like about any of them. What I did like were the monsters. For green bubbles they were pretty slick, no two humans died the same way inside their transparent skins. Even for the Antarctic they were cool.

So I did find something to root for in Ms Kuruganti’s story. Unfortunately, it was for the wrong side.

“Prana” by Michael Hanson

Prana is the second most powerful being in creation. The coming Sha’ Daa draws it to a small world filled with insignificant creatures called humans. Prana feeds off the energy of the invading demons. To maximize his absorbing potential, Prana divides into 1000 sub-Prana. The plan is to reassemble after the end of the Sha’ Daa, more powerful than before. But the longer the sub-Prana’s remain apart, the more they resist the call to return as one. And one, Prana-777, has taken a keen interest in humans.

“Prana” is more of a loose bunch of small stories within a larger one. Once divided, many of Prana’s smaller parts begin to develop their own sense of identity. The longer apart, the more advanced their individuality becomes. There is a thin moral here, being part of something greater than yourself is not always great. This story comes off much like how Mr. Hanson’s interludes do, excellent tales in small doses, but as one connected piece, “Prana” felt disjointed. Part of the reason is the ending fizzled and I wanted something more.

“The Salesman” by Rob Adams

Johnny has masqueraded as a human for ten millennia. His sentence for interfering in the Sha’Daa has come full circle. The new Sha’Daa approaches and he is doing all he can so the brave, unsuspecting people of Earth will have a chance. The golden-tooth salesman then comes across a new player to the game. Prana is here to make sure Johnny doesn’t interfere with the Sha’Daa, something Johnny has been destined to do.

Rob Adams was given the task to tie all the separate stories together. He does that and provides a background for dear old Johnny. We learn who and what Johnny is and why he has lived on Earth for so long. A good portion of the tale shows what happened to him before he became the Salesman.

“The Salesman” is a nice bow for a smartly wrapped present. Mr. Adams did very well taking a single character based of several different authors ideas of what he was. This Johnny wasn’t quite the crafty, sharp-witted door-to-door salesman Arthur Sanchez created, or the wise angel-like being in “The Dive,” but he was a very rich character. I found this story as a fitting finale for this anthology. Mr. Hanson chose well picking his anchorman for his project.

Prologue, interludes, and epilogue by Michael Hanson

These are the little intermissions set between each chapter. Two things made them different from the rest of the stories. A) They’re short and B) They don’t involve Johnny the Salesman.

The prologue and epilogue are the snug fitting bookends that they should be. The interludes are complete standouts, and not the bridges between chapters I thought they were at first. The longest is nine-pages. Most fall into a one to two page length. I found the majority of them to be sharp and a few of them outstanding. Some of the less-than-a-thousand word stories had richer plots than a couple of the ten thousand word plus chapters.

I particularly liked “Jump”, “Invasion Force”, and “The Friendly Skies.” My favorite was “Brave Man”. I found most of the interludes delightful.

Final Analysis

It can’t be easy to grasp someone else’s idea, especially when you have a narrowly defined character to work with, and write a story that fits what the creator envisioned. Mr. Hanson’s brainchild was no ordinary guideline to follow. What he asked for was the equivalent of JRR Tolken approaching a group of writers to help him create Lord of the Rings to his specifications and satisfaction. The concept of the Sha’Daa and Johnny the Salesman are exciting ones. Finding eleven writers to help fill up a novel based on Mr. Hanson’s idea couldn’t have been easy.

As a reader of many anthologies, I have yet to find one where I liked every story when they are written by so many different authors. Sha’Daa does not break that streak. More than a few of the plots felt forced to me and the quality of writing was not consistent, but almost all the stories were satisfactory. I did find more than a few to be outstanding.

“Tunguska Outpact” and “Lava Lovers” were exceptional. Couple those with Michael Hanson’s many interludes and the fitting final act, “The Salesman,” and you have a great book. I found their stories to be well worth the price of admission. However, I liked Arthur Sanchez’s “The Way of the Warrior” so much I would recommend the Sha’Daa based on his story alone.

So, if like reading about the end of the world, the Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse is the book for you. I recommend you buy yourself a copy. You won’t be disappointed.

Frank hasn’t made many friends since he started doing reviews so heÂwent andÂfound a newÂchum.ÂBob is his new best bud but word is they had a recent falling out. Frank was overheard callingÂBob a ‘Windbag’ while mutual friends claim Bob refers to Frank as a ‘Blowhard’ behind his back.

Daily Science Fiction: October Review

written by Frank Dutkiewicz

As I said in my last months review, an editor for a respectable review publication explained that the reason why he wasn’t reviewing Daily Science Fiction was because they had too much to cover. He may have been right, but every problem has a solution. With the help of four great and wonderful writers from my favorite writers workshop, Hatrack, a complete review of October is done. So thank you Todd Rathke, Louis Doggett, Ismail Rodriquez, and Ian Synder for your help.

Now onto another month of great speculative fiction.

The Stories

Joan tries her hand at spelunking. When she emerges out of the cave, she enters a dead world in “Finding Joan” (debut 10/01/10) by David D. Levine. A gamma ray blast from an exploded star has sterilized North America and the depleted ozone is now killing the rest of the planet. A weekend to help find herself has now turned into a lifetime experience.

So what would you do if you found out you were one of the last people left on Earth? When Joan and her three companions exit the cave, they see a sky with brown clouds and death all around them. The quartet discover there are others who have survived, a fortunate few like them that were shielded from the deadly blast. Her friends want to find them but Joan cannot leave her life behind, empty as it is.

“Finding Joan” is great science fiction. The plot is well thought out and the science is sound. The readers are thrown into a world were the worst has happened. Joan is drawn wonderfully as a woman who has lost everything but refuses to restart her life with her companions. A lot of people like Joan would have ended it all, unable to grasp the tragedy around them. Joan instead decides to become Portland’s last resident. Her issue is with closure and it helped carry the reader through the last half of the story. I enjoyed the ending Mr. Levine wrote – very heartwarming and full of hope.

My only issue is the story takes too long to fill in the characters what the readers have realized. We already knew the what but had to wait to find out the why. About a thousand words in the middle of the piece dragged. The rest I found brilliant. Great story by a great story teller.

“Gamed” (debut 10/04/10) by Stephen Gaskell is the story of Zhen, a young Bejing girl working as a gaming assistant for players. The factory she works in is strict. The gamers work without ever seeing the outside. A wooden door leads to the outside and Zhen only wishes to see the sky. A rare chance gives her an opportunity to open the door.

“Gamed” is a “Gotcha!” story. The author does dot the story with plenty of clues so if you’re caught off guard it’s your fault. The story is short (too short) but complete. I had to read it twice to make sure I was getting the correct point it was making. I liked it.

“Losses: A Game” (debut 10/05/10) by M. O. Walsh is about an odd game set in the clouds. The playing field is attached to a rope that a man holds. You pay him and climb. Once on the field, things you lost (big and small, important and insignificant) appear. The object is to stay on as long as you can before regret gets the best of you.

I took “Losses: A Game” to be a philosophical fiction piece. The game is supposed to be popular but I can’t understand how it could be. The idea of reliving everything you lost in your life doesn’t sound likes it’s worth climbing a rope into the sky, or the two bucks for the privilege of doing so. The story was just too odd for my tastes.

Ricky just wants some time to himself in “Solitude” (debut 10/06/10) by Michael Guillebeau. But alone on the All-Party Planet is impossible. There, “â€everybody has to be everybody’s friend.” Lucy has a simple plan to change it. Perhaps talking about it might be better.

An All-Party planet doesn’t sound as fun as it should be. It sounded like Time’s Square at New Years Eve all the time. I wouldn’t want to spend more there ten minutes there myself. This one was too silly for me.

“Fashion Statement” by Peter Roberts (debut 10/07/11) is a conversation between two people. They share opinions on the latest in clothing design and discuss the latest trends in getting sick.

“Fashion Statement” is all dialog. The readers are treated as if they’re trapped in an elevator with two cackling hens gossiping, oblivious to anyone listening. The first part of this short piece sounds just like two privileged busybodies yaking it up, then their conversation twists into something surreal. That twist turned a boring story into an unbelievable one.

A “Fashion Statement” clashed with my tastes.

Jeffery Godfrey sees his dead mother hanging in his closet in “Migrating Bears” (debut 10/08/10) by Helena Leigh Bell. Odd things happen to young Godfrey. Termites like to swarm on him. Small gargoyle statues multiply in his dresser draw. His friend Caroline believes everything he says while his father thinks he is having an issue letting go of his deceased mother.

Jeff is a kid with issues. He is failing fifth grade, again, his father is distant, and his only friend is the one person that is stranger than he is. Then there is all the weird stuff. He rationalizes the unexplained incidents in his life with simple explanations. His world is a supernatural three-ringed circus but he is unfazed by it all.

I didn’t like how the story was told. The reader watches all the odd things happening to Godfrey from a distance. The story is almost devoid of dialog. What little there is comes across like punch lines to an inside joke. I don’t know where Ms. Bell was headed with this story but I jumped off way before the end. It just wasn’t for me.

“Grinpa” by Brian K. Lowe (debut 10/11/10) is a little boy’s telling of the day his grandfather died and when the aliens landed on Earth. The young lad is pulled out of his school to join his mother at the hospital. A world-shaking event is happening simultaneously in the rest of the world. While the aliens are landing outside the UN building, Grinpa is breathing his last breaths.

The two events, an elderly loved one succumbing to old age, and the coming of visitors from beyond the stars, is like comparing apples and oranges in the grand scheme of things. The very ideas seem to clash, but telling them from a perspective of a very young boy gave “Grinpa” an emotional depth that I don’t believe could be accomplished with only one of the events happening.

It may be easy to miss the message in this piece but if you caught it, you wouldn’t be able to escape its emotional impact. The protagonist chooses to miss the first look at the aliens as they step out of the vessel so his Grinpa isn’t left alone. Ironically, his father provides the reason while waiting for the aliens to appear on the TV.

I may be a sucker for Science Fiction with an emotional impact told by children. RECOMMENDED

In “Bless this House” by Beth Cato (debut 10/12/10 and reviewed by Todd Rathke) Emma’s life has hit a rough patch, her husband is bed-ridden, recovery looking grim, and her new born daughter is wailing with colic. Only more sleepless nights are on the horizon. Then a unicorn comes blessing the house.

Every word seemed artfully and perfectly written but when the sentences were put together, it lacked flow, and I found myself lost. Still the story succeeds on some parts. As a reader I feel Emma’s pain, her hopelessness, so much so that I wanted to put a gun to my head to end it all. So I applaud the writer here. But the story doesn’t end there. There are two struggles here, the one for surviving the depression, which leads her to taking the horn, and I assume killing the unicorn in the process. And it is that struggle that I found lacking and feel cheated on. It was hidden, throughout the piece, until the end and shouldn’t have been as it was told in her point of view.

The clocks have all gone crazy in “Zero Hour” by Sue Burke (debut 10/13/10), and the protagonist’s wife is responsible for the change. The world is perfect. Refrigerators tell you what to eat and careers are offered according to your skills. The network does what is best for you, which is why it has to go.

Big Brother is alive in Aunt Becky, the name given for the computer overseer in “Zero Hour.” Aunt Becky has everyone shaking in their boots. Saboteurs tried to disable her but only managed to disrupt the clocks. The protagonist in the story fears for his wife and believes he may have seen the last of her when he leaves for work.

The concept to “Zero Hour” is intriguing but the route the author took robbed it of its intrigue. The story is told with the protagonist spending what he believes is the last morning with his wife. An over lying fear is present, as if eyes on everyone at every second. We never really experience Aunt Becky so the fear feels like an illusion. As a result, the story is flat and the characters failed to entice me.

“Susan 3342 A.D.” (debut 10/14/10 and reviewed by Ismail Rodriquez) by Marge Simon is about a hermaphrodite couple experiencing their long awaited chance at having a State authorized baby. One partner has obvious nurturing instincts while the other, not so much. They then must deal with the devastating news that their healthy newborn is – only female, considered a throwback. This story is a poignant reminder that no matter how much things change, some things never do.

“Susan 3342 A.D.” is a short work of speculative fiction near 600 words. Set in a so-called advanced culture, this couple struggles with personality traits that can’t simply be bred out even by State mandated advanced hermaphroditic techniques. There are also issues with handling difficulties in life that are as apropos today as they might be in a far-flung future. Susan 3342 A.D. is as thought provoking as it is chilling to contemplate the grasp of government in such a fashion as set here. A must read.

“Addendum to the Confessions of St. Augustine of Hippo” by Edoardo Albert (debut 10/15/10) is a tale set in the final days of the Roman Empire. Bishop Augustine of Hippo confesses his greatest regret and speaks of discovering a way to time travel while the city is on the verge of collapse.

“Addendum” has a long title, which is fitting because the story read a lot longer than its 4000 words. The story is set with an urgency of a city about to collapse and a hopelessness of not being able to prevent it. The bishop confesses to his scribe with a detachment to the reality outside. His tale is unbelievable, spoken like a man convinced his delusions are real; delusions a man on the verge of a mental breakdown would dream up. As a result, his tale sounds like a ramble. I had to resist the urge to tune out. The ending had a twist that came off as one big cheat to me. It cemented the ill feelings I had to the piece.

As an avid fan of Alternate History (which is the category this story falls under) I was disappointed with “Addendum.” As a time travel story, a better explanation on how it was possible would have helped.

“Longevity, Inc.” by Geoffery C Porter (debut 10/16/10) is a corporation that uses mice to determine your future health. Jill prods her husband into buying a pair of mice. The company finds a genetic match and puts them on the same diet, exercise regiment and habits of their owners. When the mice die, an evaluation of your future health and what will kill you can be determined.

“Longevity, Inc.” is a novel idea. On the surface, it sounds like a scam someone will eventually dream up in the near future. But the idea has merit, which makes the story intriguing. The first half of the story follows the protagonist and his wife, Jill, when they first apply for the mice. This part seemed needlessly long. I was intrigued with what would happen to the mice but the excitement devolved into something close to the level of waiting to hear lab results on blood work. I did find the ending cute.

In short, “Longevity, Inc.” is solid science fiction. I liked the premise but the characters weren’t all that interesting.

“Chick Lit” (debut 10/19/10 and reviewed by Ismael Rodriquez) by Keyan Bowes is about two co-workers with an unusual problem; Nelli’s new boyfriend has feathers – all over, and her friend doesn’t believe her. They may be good co-workers but they definitely have different values when it comes to acceptance of others. Nelli finds out late about the saying that it’s better to fly with eagles than group with turkeys.

“Chick Lit” is a fictional piece of just over 500 words. It’s about a girl with a problem and a friend/co-worker who could care less. Later, the girl doesn’t have the problem and the friend is more concerned than ever about it. I had to read it several, SEVERAL times over to even come up with anything noteworthy about it. I failed to see what the editors saw in it.

“Group Session” by Terry Bramlet (debut 10/20/11) involves a meeting between the three main computer systems and their human caretaker. Highway, Financial, and Internet have only one problem, there lives would operate perfectly if it wasn’t for all the humans they were designed to service.

“Group Session” is a corporate meeting between civilization-running programs that turns into a therapy session. The three virtual reality simulations act like overstressed people all dealing with the same problem, which they are. I found the story fun, with a few humorous lines throw in. The story wasn’t all that deep but was entertaining.

Memories are stored in finely crafted wooden boxes in “Memory Boxes” by Pam L. Wallace (debut 10/21/10). Sara surrounds her dying husband with their most treasured memories. She opens them one at a time to comfort Darrell as he takes his last breaths.

If only cherished memories could be stored in the lovely boxes in Ms. Wallace’s story and be shared so readily. “Memory Boxes” is heart-warming but thin. Perhaps the story could have been expanded but I believe it would have lost some of its luster if it were lengthened. Nice piece.

“A Theory of Sixth-Sense Aesthetics” by Ciro Fainza (debut 10/22/10) is an introduction into psi-phy, a form of art where the viewer is subjected to a psychic revelation while absorbing an artists sculpture or painting (I wasn’t sure how to describe them). William is accompanying his girlfriend, Simone, at the museum for the latest unveiling. Simone is an artist while William is doing his best to understand the baffling exhibit.

“Theory” takes the tact of following William, a confused patron who is there to support Simone, as he tries to grasp a futuristic pseudo-art crowd fawning over what sounds like garbage they call art. William is lost as he does his best to fit in for the benefit of his girl. He is failing and it is obvious to all in the gallery and to Simone. The story is meant to show how uncomfortable and out of place William is. The author succeeds because I felt as out of place as he did trying to comprehend what he was viewing.

The science fiction of this futuristic art gallery is first class. I can see such a gallery and the snobbish enthusiast it would attract. Part of the problem for me is the author did too good of a job writing snooty characters to make the gallery convincing. Simone just didn’t sound worth it for William to go through all of that work. It would be like dragging a grease monkey to the ballet and expect him to mingle with the dancers afterward.

Ciro Fainza achieved his goal in “A Theory of Sixth-Sense Aesthetics”, but the characters where just too unlikable for me to recommended it. The writing was superior but, like the art, the story failed to draw me in.

“High Mileage” by J G Faherty is set in a future where families are as interchangeable as cars. Sid is jealous of his neighbors improved model. Bob convinces Sid that the investment is worth it considering how much trouble his older model was giving him.

Cloning and behavioral modifications have made fixing marriages and problem children as easy as trading in a rusting Cadillac. The first half of the story is written so as if Bob is talking about a car (not hard to see through). This short piece is cute but predictable. I still enjoyed it.

“A Game of Horse and Dragon” by Sarah L. Edwards, (debut Oct 26, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Synder), tells the story of a small child playing with his toy horse and dragon. The little boy feels bad for the horse because he knows it will always lose, but the horse keeps trying.

It’s strange, at 300-ish words the story feels overdeveloped and underdeveloped at the same time. She speaks of the child being ill and his father brought something from the mountains to help him and leaves that at that, and then speaks of the child’s pity for the horse, saying it was once something else, possibly a man. Some of the unanswered questions could have been left out, or she could have answered them with more words and I would feel better about the story.

Brenda Cannon Kalt has an intriguing and sad tale. The story “Cradle Song” (debut 10/27/10 and reviewed by Louis Doggett) by Brenda Cannon Kalt, takes place on another planet, Pallarus. The story consists of a conversation between two people. One a blue collar woman making sure a ballroom is ready for a going away party that evening, while the other is the planet’s governor, who the party is for.

The conversation is both entertaining and informative. Brenda tells what needs to be explained in a well managed way. EvenÂthough he story is sad, I enjoyed it for it is, what I call sad in a good way. I recommend it for anyone who likes short, short stories with a solid story line with no violence but yet an interesting story line.

In “Flipping the Switch” by Michael Vella, (debut on Oct 28, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Snyder) Vella tells the tale of a pair of men who are working on time travel. The protagonist speaks of deja vu after his partner flips the switch on their machine with no apparent results.

He looks at a picture of his family and regrets the amount of time he has lost with them while working on the project. After he works on the settings for the machine he goes back into the shop and inputs the settings, then tells his partner that he wants to wait till the next day to test the machine, wanting to get home to his family. His partner insists on flipping the switch, bringing you back to the start of the story.

It’s an interesting little story Ala Star Trek: TNG episode Time Squared and Groundhog’s Day.

In “Moonlight and Bleach” by Sandra McDonald {debuted on Oct 29, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Snyder), McDonald spins the yarn of a woman with a very strange affliction, she is a were-maid. Her mother was a werewolf and her father had a cleaning fetish. So now when the full moon comes out she transforms into a maid, black dress, white apron and all.

To help keep questions down about her strange affliction she has her cousin get her cleaning jobs at the full moon from people that don’t ask too many questions. One job he sends her to ends up having a fireman for a next door neighbor, the fireman calls her up after the job and asks if she could clean his place for him. After she declines (Its not a full moon) he asks her out to dinner. She ends up making a fool of herself when the young man starts to ask too many questions.

The young woman tells her cousin she can’t go back to that job again, and he sends her elsewhere on the next full moon. The new client and her dog scare the young woman and send her running. She goes back to the fireman’s building, only to find her previous client is in the hospital with a broken hip. She turns to the fireman in desperation and he takes her to the laundry room of a homeless shelter where he works on the side.

In exchange for the work, the fireman wants to know her story. She tells him of her curse as she cleans and when the night is over he escorts her home, not caring if she is cursed or not.

I personally am not a big fan of romances, but McDonald spins a nice tale here. If you’re looking for a quick romantic jaunt with a side of were-weird then this tale should be what you’re looking for.

The Can’t Miss Listâ€

As my only recommended story, “Grinpa” by Brian K. Lowe tops this months list, but “Finding Joan” by David D. Levine I found to be a delight, the best of the Friday stories (the lengthy ones). My fellow reviewer, Ismail Rodriquez, particularly liked “Susan 3342 A.D.” by Marge Simon but fell short of giving it my high standard recommendation qualification. I should point out a recommended qualification is a story that makes me go ‘Wow!’ after I read it. ‘Wonderful’ won’t get you a recommendation (sorry).

I found October’s DSF still a high standard publication, better than any pro-publication you’ll find out there. However, compared to last month’s, October’s comes in second.

I recommend all of you to subscribe to DSF’s daily email (if you haven’t already).

Frank hasn’t made many friends since he started doing reviews so heÂwent andÂfound a newÂchum.ÂBob is his new best bud but word is they had a recent falling out. Frank was overheard callingÂBob a ‘Windbag’ while mutual friends claim Bob refers to Frank as a ‘Blowhard’ behind his back.

“Chick Lit” is a fictional piece of just over 500 words. It’s about a girl with a problem and a friend/co-worker who could care less. Later, the girl doesn’t have the problem and the friend is more concerned than ever about it. I had to read it several, SEVERAL times over to even come up with anything noteworthy about it. I failed to see what the editors saw in it.

The Best of The Drabblecast 2010-

written by David Steffen

And here’s the last of my Best of 2010 lists. This’ll be another short one, covering a bit more than half a year (the rest of 2010 after the last Best of Drabblecast) covering episodes 169-193. Big news for Drabblecast this year: they won a Parsec award!

Also check out my other Best Of posts.

1. Mongoose Part I and Part II by Sarah Monette and Elizabeth Bear

This story is just plain awesome. Space opera setting with Lovecraftian beasties and Louis Carroll tie-ins. And it all works. Just, wow.

2. The Wheel by John Wyndham

By the author of the well known “Day of the Triffids”. An interesting story in a far future low-tech world, and a story which sparked many interesting lines of thought.

3. Rangifer Volans by Tim Pratt

Wildly successful cryptozoologists begin their newest project, to hunt flying reindeer.

4. Floaters by David D. Levine

Have you ever noticed that, in certain lights, if you move your eyes very quickly you can see a little line trailing behind your eye movement? Finally, the truth about those weird little enigmas.

5. The Reenactment by Ben H. Winters

This surly, unpleasant teacher loves nothing more than the re-enactment of the duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton. This year, it doesn’t go so smoothly.

The Best of Escape Pod 2010-

written by David Steffen

And, on to my next list. Again, I’ll be picking up where I left off from my previous Best of Escape Pod list, and running to the end of 2010. This’ll be a short one because I posted that list in May. For this list I considered episodes 240-273, and here’s my 5 favorites. Enjoy!

There have been big changes at Escape Pod since the last list, especially two things:
1. The founder of Escape Pod and the other Escape Artists podcasts, Steve Eley, has stepped down from his former role after the birth of his second child. I hope everything’s going great for him, and I wish him the best of fortune. I’ll always have a soft spot for the guy, because my very first story check came with his signature on it (for my Pseudopod sale). I’d be happy to buy him a beer if I ever cross his path.
2. They’re a pro paying market now! As far as I know, this is the only pro paying podcast, great news.

And, if you like this, check out my other Best Of lists.

1. Bridesicle by Will McIntosh
read by Amy H. Sturgis

I’m clearly not alone in my like of this story, since it won the Hugo for short story. But hey, it’s really good. In the future, medical technology has advanced to the point that almost no condition is fatal, and the body can be kept alive for a very long time. The technology is available, but very expensive. It’s funded by treating it like a dating meat market. Wealthy customers visit, have a chat with the momentarily awakened people, and if they hit it off they can pay to have them permanently cured and revived. This is the story of a woman in one of these holds, as she’s woken up for suitor after suitor.

2. Cruciger by Erin Cashier
read by Kij Johnson

I read this first in Writers of the Future. To quote Flight of the Conchords, “The humans are dead.” Well, most of them are, and the rest are preserved, in the hands of a superpowerful superintelligent robot (named Duxa) created by the last vestiges of humanity to find a planet suitable for terraforming and tear it apart to make a human-inhabitable world. But while she’s there, she makes first contact with an intelligent race of swimming tentacled beings.

3. We are Ted Tuscadero for President by Chris Dahlen
read by Cheyenne Wright

You think political advertisements are ever-present now? Imagine if Presidential candidates could make dozens of “proxies” of themselves, with their full set of memories, allowing them to be everywhere they want to be all at once. Don’t be put off by the fact that it’s about a politician. I generally hate politician stories, but this one was really good, perhaps because this proxy was split off from his main self

4. The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake by Robert T. Jeschonek
read by John Cmar

Wow, Cmar has an amazing voice, unbelievably well-suited for this story. Smidgen is a snack cake, part of an intelligent sales system, meant to tempt buyers into spending money. He has no greater goal in the world other thanbeing eaten. And Cmar’s salesman voice is very convincing in the role.

5. Ã‰lan Vital by K. Tempest Bradford
read by Mur Lafferty

Have you ever wished you could’ve extended the life of a loved one who died before their time?. Â But what price would you pay?

Review: Cardboard Universe by Christopher Miller

written by (another) Christopher Miller

While my wife hunts for DVDs we haven’t already seen, I peruse Cherry Hill Video’s vast shredder1 shelves for interesting books. Because literary acclaim and commercial popularity are if not mutually exclusive then pretty antithetical, unlike over at Zehrs or Shoppers Drug Mart where it’s all overpriced, assembly-line pulp by publishing’s fistful of brand-name authors, here, for just five dollars, sparkle some real gems.2

Like a defensive tackle hunting for offensive openings, I shift sideways past long shelves. So many covers vie for my attention, it’s mostly a crapshoot. Serendipitously for me my name is Christopher Miller or I’d probably never notice “The Cardboard Universe” by,Christopher Miller.3

Curious, I pick it up. Thick,a generous number of pages. Interesting cover,a stack of paperbacks. Its promising title is displayed more prominently than our name,another positive. No Kirkus “review”,always a huge plus. Some accolades of course, but no industry blurbs,ever since Nelson DeMille described Dan Brown’s “Digital Fortress” as “intelligent” I’ve been leery of these. On the back it says Miller teaches at Bennington College in Vermont. A random scan of some middle page reveals clean, intelligent, accessible prose,something about a canned pig-brains diet. But wait,it’s his second book. Darn. Ordinarily this is a show-stopper, second books being the ones publishers “help” authors rush out on the off chance the first book flies (as Miller’s “Sudden Noises from Inanimate Objects” certainly appears to have). So, again, lucky for me we have the same name.

Happily, I buy it (while my wife rents the next season of “Breaking Bad”). For the first few weeks all I do is drive around with it in my car. I show it to friends, coworkers, family members,lots of people. Everyone congratulates me and, until I come clean, exhibits newfound respect. Then, after I’ve finished using it as a novelty item (and given up on Updike’s “Couples”), I take it home and read it.

It’s in the form of an encyclopedic portrayal (complete with an index) of the sad and funny life and prodigious writings of science-fiction legend, Phoebus K. Dank, via an alphabetized compilation of reviews, essays and epistolary (warring) footnotes by two English professors, once close “friends” of his, and between whom no love is lost or opinion shared. The dominant of the two collaborators, William Boswell, who wrote his doctoral dissertation on Dank, acknowledges at the start that we are perhaps spared through his summarization of Dank’s considerable volume of texts having to wade ourselves through their copious “Dankian” prose to get at their genius. Owen Hirt, the other contributor, is scathing in all his remarks, both personal and literary, tending toward generalized mockery of the obese and obsessive author and his juvenile oeuvre, and to avoid, as though unworthy (or unread), abstract or example.

This threading of multiple narratives,Boswell and Hirt’s reviews; biographical accounts; footnotes inserted into each other’s entries,seems a risky technique. Readers develop preferences. My personal favorites are Boswell’s reviews of Dank’s work. It’s hard to summarize a novel that is itself so synoptic, and where so much stands out that it’s arbitrary to filter. Still, let me randomly and paraphrastically remember:

Dank’s novel about a brilliant writer who, in the course of writing the most intelligent book ever, incurs brain damage by nodding too vigorously during a philosophical discussion,only an IQ point or two, but enough that he can no longer understand what he has written.

Dank’s belief that when commenting on a writer’s work you should use the “poison sandwich” approach: say something nice; say what you really think; say something nice.

Dank’s novel in which he “forgets” about time zones and even hemispheres4 and has everyone on Earth waking up at exactly the same “time” one “morning” from the same dream, and when asked about his poetic license and intent here by well-meaning Boswell, horrified, breaks into a warehouse containing 8000 waiting-to-ship copies of his book and slips a note into each directing readers to skip the opening chapter.

Dank’s ability to write faster than he can type by using abbreviations for oft-repeated phrases like “bb” for “big-breasted” 5 but that lead to transcription errors like “robig-breasteders” for “robbers” in his published (and presumably unedited) manuscripts.

Dank’s obsession with literary recognition and acclaim that compel him, even as a popular author, to enter writing contests for children, though he never wins and only once short-lists. And to join a workshop for under-discovered writers who, despite his publishing successes, accept him on the sheer ignominy of his appearance, life and prose; a workshop whose “years of constructive criticism” have reduced the only other writer of talent in it to mediocrity.

Dank’s first novel, written when he was seventeen and said to have hit his literary stride and even apex, in which a dashing Captain admiring his manly uniformed reflection in his spaceship’s window is “suddenly” zapped by a laser.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except old, instead of young, people are sexy.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except women lust after men and even the fattest, least hygienic and most uncouth slob (like him) has no problem getting picked up in bars.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except instead of a writer named Phoebus K. Dank, there’s a prolific Phillip K. Dick.

Dank’s invention of a refrigerator that, instead of employing an energy-wasting compressor, pipes cold in from outside in winter.6

Dank’s murder-mystery about a serial killer who, instead of killing people he hates, kills the person seven below them in the phonebook, and who’s caught and executed just when he would have killed himself for listing, in the phonebook’s latest issue, seven below a cousin who’d wronged him.

Dank’s book about a man whose life and experiences in the course of writing this book must exactly mirror his own, forcing him in the interest of a more interesting book to do more interesting things in his life like flashing an elderly neighbor woman and writing another book (about a plague that makes everyone always say exactly what they’re thinking) that eventually becomes his most critically acclaimed novel.

Along with Dank’s life and writing as presented in his co-biographers’ droll reviews, accounts and commentaries, appears the story of his murder. This more conventional who-done-it (or maybe why-done-it) layer at first feels incidental, even superfluous to the novel’s purpose, like the grit around which a pearl forms. It’s asserted by Boswell from the get-go that Hirt did it, that this is why he’s hiding out of country e-mailing his entries. But as the story progresses, unhappy Boswell and vainglorious Hirt, each a failed (i.e. unpublished) writer in his own right, become more integral. In Hirt’s acrimony there seems to emerge a grudging respect. Something creepy lurks in Boswell’s fandom, his moping memoir so unencumbered by romantic, or even prurient, concerns as to render him asexual, his feelings for Dank nebulous,both protective and dependant,possessive. When Hirt begins to explore their relationship in one of his own accounts, Boswell truncates the entry and (until calming down after many pages) banishes him from the project.

Some books warrant abandonment, but not total disregard. And so some I’ve reviewed on the basis of a few chapters, others on just their covers. But that is not the case here. Boswell complains that Dank’s interest only in the book he’s writing is why his seven greatest novels are unpublished. Sometimes, as now, my involvement with the book I’m reading prohibits my withholding comment until the end. Luckily for readers of this review, right now I’m only about ¾ of the way though the book (into the T entries) and so can’t “spoil” (as I learned in Hosseini’s “Kite Runner” is a uniquely Western concept) the ending. Because I would.

Obviously I don’t mind a reviewer’s autobiographical intrusion into a review. There’s no such thing as objective criticism, no separating a book from its reader. Dank understood this better than either of his biographers. Consequently the relationship between author and reader, however speculative, too is inescapable. Hirt likens four-hundred-pound, near-invalid Dank’s attempts to market himself as a “daredevil” to Oz’s bellowing, “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN STANDING BEHIND THE CURTAIN!”

But usually I dislike when a review drags the author extraneously into the fray. As though Wallace’s depression or Dick’s (and Dank’s) methamphetamine addiction or Findley’s sexual orientation or some romance author’s looks should make their work any less or more interesting or relevant. But, given this book’s scrutiny of the relationship between a writer’s life and his work, its thematic lens cannot but focus outward on its author. Dank’s fondness for near-parallel universes and split personalities and the book’s narration by characters divided only by Miller’s imagination, and even my solipsistic discovery of this book written by a namesake that tackles themes so dear to me as to not only plant ideas in but at times appear to lift them from my head, might make it the most relatable, therapeutic (also funniest) and daunting book I’ve ever read, and which even given Miller is the seventh most common surname in North America, is still just really, really weird is all. Like looking in the mirror and seeing someone else.

Epilogue

I’ve finished the book! Surprisingly for me, I’m not going to spoil the ending. Except maybe to say it’s not the sort of ending you can spoil. By which I mean I want to read it again.

Dank has yellow-highlighted in a book every single line but one that he takes exception to. In the “Meet the Author” afterword, titled “Dueling Theremins (Two Authors Disagree About Which One Imagined the Other),” Dank, from his sickbed, interviews Miller. But he must stick to the list of questions Miller has prepared for him. This little skit seems such a clever and natural integration and extension of the novel’s themes that I press harder on my yellow marker as I read. Though I hesitate where Miller answers with “Not yet.” Perhaps, as apt as it is, this is the line I’ll leave untouched, conspicuous for my omission.

And close with two quotes from the book. The first is Goethe: “Confronted by out-standing merit in another, there is no way of saving one’s ego except by love.” The second is Boswell’s: “I was never sure if he wanted my honest opinion or the sort of unconditional love that no sophisticated reader can give any writer.” Clearly, and luckily for my ego, I am not a sophisticated reader.

1 The assumption being that any quality-published paperback selling for 4.95$ must have been rescued from recycling.

2 Just because a book hasn’t sold well doesn’t mean it’s good. I bought Copeland’s “Girlfriend [Reader] in a Coma” and Gibson’s “Spook County” from these same shelves. Conversely a book’s enjoying huge commercial success doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad†though no titles spring immediately to mind.

3 It’s humbling to go from fantasizing oneself the greatest writer of the twenty-first century (and possibly the third millennium) to discovering one is at very most the distant second-best living Christopher Miller.

4 Much the way Miller “forgets” that in Scrabble the “c” is worth not one but three points. So that Boswell’s having spelled “cat” with the “t” on a triple-letter square would have at very minimum resulted in a “grand total” of not “five” but seven points, leading me to wonder if this was a deliberate nod to Dank, or if Miller will now ask readers to skip page 286.

5 Both inspiring and also somehow forgiving this CM’s latest SF, “Causal Determinism and Free Will,” about “heroic” Philosopher Jack Stone, sent to Jupiter’s orbiting supercollider to save the universe from becoming caught in an experimental time loop, but who then for the entire story, and so presumably all eternity, can’t take his eyes off Jupiter-Ring Lock-Station Engineer Lieutenant-Commander Dolleen Payette’s enormous breasts.

6 This isn’t funny, just weird. Because that’s my invention (along with heated wiper-blades). I’ve been going on about it for years, and could probably call a dozen witnesses to corroborate.

Born in Switzerland, raised in Chicago, mostly Canadian now. ÂRestaurateur, software developer. Loves writing all genres,sci-fi to literary, horror to erotica. E.g.:ÂÂGanymede Dreams (a.k.a. Ganymede’s Song) ;ÂTake Our kids to Work Day;ÂA Hawk Circling the Wind ;ÂAdam and Eve Reading (almost) Quietly in the Bathroom

The Best of Podcastle 2010-

My first Best of Podcastle list was posted back on January 4th, 2010. This list picks up where that one left off, and includes the rest of 2010. So it includes all of Podcastle’s publications except for “When Shakko Did Not Lie”. Including flash fiction, there were 67 stories included in this set, and I’ll be listing out my favorite 7.

There have been some major events at Podcastle in the last year. They reached their 100th episode. Rachel Swirsky stepped down about the same time of my list last year, and was replaced by dual editors Dave Thompson and Anna Schwind (who I interviewed last year after they took over).

If you like this list, check out my other “Best Of” articles.

1. The Mermaid’s Tea Party by Samantha Henderson
read by Tina Connolly

Don’t be fooled by the title into thinking that this is Disney’s The Little Mermaid. The mermaids in this story are evil, spiteful creatures and the story hits on all cylinders from the first moments in which a young girl, a survivor of a shipwreck, is feigning enjoyment of seawater “tea” to keep the sharp-toothed mermaids from eating her. Very dark.

2. Creature by Ramsey Shehadah
read by Norm Sherman

A lovely, well-told non-human perspective. Creature is a near-invincible blob living in a post-apocalyptic world. The story follows his travels across the wasteland, as he meets and befriends a young girl.

3. The Warlock and the Man of the Word by M. K. Hobson
read by Bob Eccles

An awesome “weird west” tale, in a world where demons exist among cowboys in the wild west, and the power of prayer can generate a sending from God with unpredictable results.

4. The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe
read by Eric Luke

This is probably my favorite Poe story, and it’s good to hear it on the podcast. This is one of those stories we had as required reading that convinced me that required reading does not necessarily suck.

5. Biographical Notes to “A Discourse on the Nature of Causality, with Air-planes” by Benjamin Rosenbaum by Benjamin Rosenbaum
read by Graeme Dunlop

No, the doubling of the name “Benjamin Rosenbaum” is not a mistake, the first is part of the title. This is a long philosophical adventure in a parallel world starring a parallel version of the author. Most of it takes placeon a dirigible in a world where airplanes are nothing but imagining. In this world philosophy is more prevalent than scientific rigor, so the perspective is very different and interesting.

6. The Alchemist’s Feather by Erin Cashier
read by Dave Thompson

Another well-told non-human perspective. The point of view is an Alchemist’s simulacrum, a little wooden doll without a voice who is kept only for his value in experiments.

7. Songdogs by Ian McHugh
read by Amanda Fitzwater

And, another “weird west” type tale, this one in a mutated post-apocalyptic Outback starring a bounty hunter mage bringing in her captive for her pay.


Honorable mentions

1. The Christmas Mummy by Heather Shaw & Tim Pratt
read by Rish Outfield

Interesting note: This was included with Heather and Tim’s Christmas letter last year. What a fun idea!

2. Fetch by Nathaniel Lee
read by Peter Wood

3. Sir Hereward and Mr. Fitz Go to War Again by Garth Nix
read by Paul Tevis




The Best of Cast Macabre

sFor those looking for more audio fiction, here’s a podcast you might not have heard of: Cast Macabre. They started up in mid-2010, and filled a nice horror fiction gap while Pseudopod was on hiatus. It didn’t take too long to get caught up, as they’re only 28 episodes in. And in case you’re really pressed for time, here’s a top five for you. They’re also running classic stories, including Bram Stoker and H.G. Wells.

I first heard of Cast Macabre when Barry’s story “Corvus Curse” ran on Pseudopod (which made my Best of Pseudopod 2010+ list posted last week)

1. Metastasis by Nathaniel Lee
read by Barry J. Northern

A man searching for his brother. They both have powerful abilities, and the brother who has advanced stages of cancer, has not been himself lately. This story kept me on the edge of my seat, very good stuff.

2. Faces in the Window by Talu Briar
read by

Awesome dark humor! It’s all about a conversation between a married couple at the breakfast table. I won’t ruin the surprise for you, just go listen!

3. What They Consumed by Helmut Finch
read by Alasdair Stuart

A long lost manuscript discovered by C. Deskin Rink. Good Lovecraftian style horror in a classic style.

4. Like, Popular by Kevin Brown
read by Julie Hoverson

This one was chilling because I could just see it happening. What teens won’t do to be popular, child abuse becomes the next “in” thing.

5. A Little Nest Egg by Ken Goldman
read by Barry J. Northern

The protagonist in this one is one of those characters you love to hate, looking to find little old ladies to steal from. At first it seemed a bit predictable but this one had some twists and turns I didn’t see coming.